The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
