the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
