maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
