Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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