she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
