I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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