His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
