he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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