I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
a search helicopter?!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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