Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
