Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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