There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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