come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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