If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
