I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
