Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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