yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
