so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
this hospital has no fireball
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize