I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
