I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
