why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have tasted many bathrooms
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
