there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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