He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
