it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize