i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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