Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
