I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
