So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
