I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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