I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
