Need sex. Gaining weight.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
