Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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