apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize