The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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