1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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