Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
