i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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