I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
