This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
