i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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