I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I had to cum in my sink.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
