he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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