I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
