It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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