How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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