im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
