You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
