Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
