Got a toothbrush?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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