Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
