I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
