I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
