Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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