i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
