is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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