I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
