Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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