Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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