I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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