I'm drive I can fine osifer
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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