This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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