Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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