It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
