so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
