Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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